its official ..

im entirely nothing but anger & i need to get it all out. really nothing lately has gone well since kickin it with the lovely (the last good day) so iono its all bullshit..in reality i think i've found 2 MAYBE 3 people i cant trust. from a handful down to zip...girls are bitches, ladys are classy, queens are unique. GET ON IT. girls just be actin silly lately & im so sick of the drama. but i really dont think its the matter of elimination or determining the start of all bullshit & worry so please don't get at me about the elimination deal. i love this group of people i've got just, dont' like the bullshit that sometimes runs inbetween everyone. last night was nothin but a "lets cry to fucking sleep" bullshit. DIDNT KNOCK OUT TILL 6...and i woke up at 8 just to cry some more. my eyes are so dry right now. "There's nothing worse than having everything you want and still being sad", Janet Jackson (Velvet Rope Album) could this shit get anymore worse? i still strongly believe that everyones mouth opening & everything coming to light these past two weeks have really opened up reality for everyone & that now we all know how we are viewed by those closest to us & what we do with that information is now fully up to us & the positivity that comes from it..if any. ahaa...not yet. shit really just needs to go back to the way it was, no drama & when my days use to be filled with the fact that my brother wouldnt let me watch tv and my other brother told my mom i broke the fish tank light (wtf) yeahh...being grown aint as cut out as its said to be. i think i live tense but then again i think i live by trust & betraying my trust really does cut like a knife ...so now what. i might write again today...but positive: i get to see jesse today :).