cousins last day here.

okayy! so im super tired & its not even midnight...square. just got back from azteca with the family....thats how that went. im super full...and thats not even half of it. buhh when i got home i took a few pictures with the cousin. here's one of the few cause i don't wanna put them all up. buhhhh she goes home tomorrow - home meaning hawaii. she was up here for the university of washington softball clinic and ooo SHES SUPPERR GOOD all athletic :) im proud of her. i remember when we were kids. She's a year younger than me but we're the same grade. don't ask hawaii is a year ahead of washington. anywayyy buhh & i just took some new pictures on the myspace myspace.com/miszkaleionalani get at that! la familia album & the my photos album. tomorrow is baby girls birthday kick so im about to get on thattt! oo do it big :) haters can stay at home cause tomorrows gonna be all folks bein grown. othaa than that! heres the picturess! & ima say goodnight on that note. PEACE LOVE AND SERENITY. God is love, Love Kay.

&&& she goes home tomorrow so im gonna miss her this past week with her was pretty crackin im not even gonna lie. even tho she was gone for more of the time this past week was pretty crackin & always the small talk we had. i love her. & just yesterday it seems when we spent our summer together as little girls in hawaii :) i love you & i miss you and i can't wait till u move to the mainland !! ahaaa if you do!

whaaaatttt...upgradeeee!!

so i dun upgraded the layout - whaaat the colors are looking so fresh ... YEEE! thats what thats about but on the life situation..ooo this shit gets just crazyy .. iono shit be going left right up down and back and forth...U DUN EVEN KNOW BRO! buhh im with my cousin this week comin in from the hometown oahu yessirr..i love her & i miss hanging out with her! so thats on point! lol ive seen her like 3-4 times since my fat summer in hawaii when i was like 4...its been so long dude...ahaaaa. by the way to the left is a pictureeee of herr retarded ass but the fit is on point done by yours truly & edith saufoi. outfit on point queens always stay fresh, YOUDIG?! so thats what thats about and a couple a days ago i just saw the infamous boss ladies all together that was some filthy shit that day i had super funn & then came home & had some mo fun ... filthy bro u dont even know! anyway...so on top of that it was all good. 2nd pic on the right is a picture of all of us that kicked it on sunday :) good shit. left to right its jarrell (sp?) lovely, trittanie, edith, MYSELF, cam cam lol cameron, and baby breezy yessir! that was that shit. & so ill update this a little later probably with more pictures or if ur lucky a video post. ill do it with my cousin make it more lively for the loyal readers. ahaaa....btw i delete comments cause i don't need the feedback on my life. :) anything you feel u would like to share please tell me on myspace blogspot.com/miszkaleionalani message or comment or call or text me which is the way that most the readers have taken it. buhh feel free to do it that way. i like to keep questions personal and u feel free to do wut u want with my answer. ahaaa cant stop no haters switchin words and turnin shit up. buh with that being said. everything is good. and good is everything. love is god. love kay.

this week was okay.

im taking some fat ass risks this & next week. ahaa...scary. and on top of that (good) this week has been good. minus some tiny things but its all in good heart. i have a feeling that something good is in store... (i'll be posting tomorrow; maybe.)

getting better

this is gonna be a short post because i aint got much to say but things are startng to turn out & im really appreciating the better things life got to offer. the clucks is still around (jocked from big sis) but on a real things are really starting to come around. im kinda going back and forth between sanity & breaking down but its all apart of moving on & living the good life. i dont plan to set back & i plan to move forward in all ways & i dont want to have no regrets in this thats why i still try to stay in contact with you & i hope you understand & know that i still care & i always will. 3 YEARS. nahh irreplaceable is more like it no up no down its all oath & i said id be there till the end. all day everyday in every way thats what i say :) all about that homie love. buhh right now just things are coming around, SLOWLY buh surely. so wanted to say that now. signing off. all peace love & serenity.

+ ahaa! new song & i love it.

today was a good day.

today was just amazing all around & im so excited...you have no idea. Treyvin is like one of the best guys ive ever met & me and a close family member just got back in touch .. amazing conversation with her all day (sarah white babyyyy). & whoaa...just great. today was relaxing and comfortable & you wouldnt even understand. I got a fortune cookie says "love is coming your way" & "good news will come to you from far away" so im super excited & i cant wait for everything to just fall into place. im just like waiting for everything to kinda just .. fall into place & get better. :) im super happy right now. & i hope you are too; i miss you i cant wait to see your beautiful self soon. i cant wait...i really cant...okay i think i said that enough in this blog. so in an ending treytrey i love you for being there today & talking to me like all day lol even when your girl was on some trip level talking about i was the other woman...UGH! child im more like his sister..aha! & sarah girl you're something else but im down for you no joke im bouts to get u on that better livin...i cant to catch up with you & show u whats up & hopefully get u on that im living the good life level. & i use to say never.

its a sick to ur stomach feeling..

its the kinda feelings where i really want to fight everyone. just to get out all the anger i have for you. its like where im so mad that all i can do is cry..its like i really cant stand you but i wanna work it out with you...we didnt have much...no im lying we had a lot. but a lot wasn't enough to seperate our differences between our constant battling personalities. yeah a battle. and i really cant stand the mere fact thinking that im the only one having a hard time letting this go. i burnt all of our pictures (first time) i deleted everything and anything about you .. and ur still everywhere. how could we quit something we never even tried? when u still cant tell me why? we built it up to watch it fall like we meant nothing at all. i gave and gave the best of me but i couldnt give you what you need. you walked away & you stole apart of me. & no matter how hard i try .. i can't hate you anymore. buh i guess i held too tight because everything slipped right through my hands cause i still don't know if ill ever understand the meaning of anything thats happened this summer. except for the fact that this was suppose to be the best summer together? remember? the one we planned to do all these things together. i know what you've said about me behind my back. i have trouble believing that you havent because all of these people having such similiar opinions (including you) its interesting to have identical words to what others say when you claim you haven't said anything. so yes if it comes down to it, i do trust you. but trusting you to have my back in all and every situation? no. because ive seen u choose someone else over me. because ive seen you argue with me over another bitch (man and woman). because ive seen the words of others come out of your mouth, and your words come out of their mouths & there is no way in hell you both would have said the same thing. so whos talking? please dont be proud of this cause its not something im trying to cook up. but you have no idea how much all the things ive found out about you is starting to come down & im really not trying to make this work anymore but i am. & im so fucking confused with what i want/need & need to eliminate. & ur on the line of yes, no, maybe & so....all i want is better. & whether everyones mad a me for saying it .. i want better with you in it too. i love you.

The Cutie Boy

So this is Quan. He is just a friend so don't get ahead of yourself. & has succesfully turned a new leaf. He is currently 18. Turning 19 in Feb of 2009 & i can't wait. He's been sober for 124 days so far and its been an amazing journey with him. I've seen him go from amazing, to grief, to sorrow to relapse to shit & back to being the man he wants to be. An amazing guy & always having te ability to put a smile on my face. Would say he's single but hes eyeing a lady, and no hes not mine & im not gonna put his business on blast. ahaa well furhter than what he says i can. (so far its cool.) well just wanted to say that after a night of stress & worry. returning home was okay cause ive been informed of everything going to be "a-okay". so the pushing & shoving wa UN-NECESSARY. but still some worry in my mind for two others. you're in my prayers. & Quan baby im so proud of you. Ive known u since middle school? ahaa...them days. Hold you head high sugaaa. :)

its official ..

im entirely nothing but anger & i need to get it all out. really nothing lately has gone well since kickin it with the lovely (the last good day) so iono its all bullshit..in reality i think i've found 2 MAYBE 3 people i cant trust. from a handful down to zip...girls are bitches, ladys are classy, queens are unique. GET ON IT. girls just be actin silly lately & im so sick of the drama. but i really dont think its the matter of elimination or determining the start of all bullshit & worry so please don't get at me about the elimination deal. i love this group of people i've got just, dont' like the bullshit that sometimes runs inbetween everyone. last night was nothin but a "lets cry to fucking sleep" bullshit. DIDNT KNOCK OUT TILL 6...and i woke up at 8 just to cry some more. my eyes are so dry right now. "There's nothing worse than having everything you want and still being sad", Janet Jackson (Velvet Rope Album) could this shit get anymore worse? i still strongly believe that everyones mouth opening & everything coming to light these past two weeks have really opened up reality for everyone & that now we all know how we are viewed by those closest to us & what we do with that information is now fully up to us & the positivity that comes from it..if any. ahaa...not yet. shit really just needs to go back to the way it was, no drama & when my days use to be filled with the fact that my brother wouldnt let me watch tv and my other brother told my mom i broke the fish tank light (wtf) yeahh...being grown aint as cut out as its said to be. i think i live tense but then again i think i live by trust & betraying my trust really does cut like a knife ...so now what. i might write again today...but positive: i get to see jesse today :).

so lets do this again

this is more of a lets vent blog so you'll see me on a 1-2 daily basis; k? well i swear since 2nd semester started of last year nothin but bullshit buh i try not to surround myself around it im just not vocal about being anti drama & only time ya'll hear me is when im mad about drama so shove it where the sun dont wanna shine. i really dont like drama, i REALLY do love me some peace time & when drama is up then handle is as a crew not as some here some there, and handle it and through. youfeelme? yessir. buh nowadays bitches be here & there gotta keep track of folks before u watchin your back buh i guess its both. & on top of it these silly geek girls .. lol ill keep it at that baby. & so the drama is in the sky & no i wont be the modest bigger person in this situation caust that aint my job so take it or leave it. :) buh on a real making my life public is my decision not yours. so gettin even mo' raw about mah life im fighting the seperation of my life. (call me dramatic & watch my foot upside ur head) nobody and im tellin u NOBODY know how close i was to you & to see all this just fallin apart before we even started walkin is UNBELIEVABLE .. like some break down shit, so i did just that, broke down. & then on top of that got some trust issues with people. but i feena let that go because i know everyones intentions was the best. & even though folks are opening their mouths i see all the mouth openings (sides from yours - geeky ahaaa) to be positive. like people needin' to fill these folks in about some real down shit; yup that needed to be told. people being talked about behind their backs; yup that had to be told. people being some cold ass bitches; oh thas BET to be told. so really i dont see hard in all this mouth opening just that some people dont want the drama that tags along with stating ur opinion in situations & conversations. open your mouth & you're automatically apart of it. IM SAYING THAT RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW; OPEN YAH MOUTH AT ANY TIME AND MOMENT YOU'VE OFFICIALLY MADE YOU YOURSELF APART OF THE DISCUSSION, SITUATION && TOPIC. so when you get questioned & defensive like "i didnt say shit who the fuck told you?" cause if u notice i dont trip first hand, yaaap! silly girls.. so really thats some of the stuff thats been going down. socially that is. ahaa :) i lost 10lbs. im super happy about that. that speed up the matabolism & i do that tiny work out stuff :) dope.

i took an oath and ima stick it out till the end...
lets see how well u stick to that story..
oh wait you didnt

where do i start .. ?

its way too damn early this morning. its 2:46am & im addicted to the last year joint "stick wit chu" remix of course with making good love artist; avant & he's only got 4 minutes. iono what im doing with this blog .. probably some posts here & there. wanted to give the readers a chance to get deeper & expand my love for writing. but not at no 2:47 in the damn morning...so i'll have to continue this tomorrow boo. but for the damn record; i call everyone baby/boo so don' think ur or they are special & my mouth never runs 10 miles ahead of me im fully aware of everything i say on here and im still in debate of whether this blog is going to be .. anonymous or fully named. basically if im gonna say "_ _ _ _ _" is a bitch or "shes" a bitch. (count them spaces homie!) & for the readers please dont leave comments stating "why you starting shit" cause we all know i would start shit if i wanted to & it SURE AS HELL would not be online. CALL IT BOO! So this is the first post you kno? okay ur cool :) BOSS LADIES you know wsup. Applications suree .. but we'll check yo ass! ahaaa ITS A FAMILY BUSINESS BITCHES & WE DON' ROLL WIT' SNITCHES. Talk to me. Oh! & for the record. Names Kaleionalani but you can rely on "Ona" or "Lady Kay" INDIVIDUALS have unique and owning names. So get off the babies jocks...cause ima give you the business. (ooo! thats my wordd..!) yup!