mama

you know the groups that moms listen to. the groups that they randomly come across when passing through the spanish section of channels - & then they end up buying their cd, dvd & whatever else they come across? my moms group is il divo, since im pretty open to anything - i find their music pretty good. theres one song that they have called mama & its in english. i've know the words for years now, but after looking up the lyrics last night - i started to cry. this isn't the first time i've cried to this song , but everytime i do - i realize how much i love my mom . how much shit my family goes through and how much she puts up with . how much she has to deal with & how much we put her through . bills she pays when she has no money , bullshit shes put herself through because we needed a roof, and regardless how much i've fucked up in my life - she was there 2 minutes later . mothers ; yes i know they're suppose to - but there are a lot i know that don't . i am so fortunate to have a family that has so many god damn problems yet some how we're closer than thieves . a part of me thinks its cause of my culture, but i really think its cause of my mom . we've been through a lot - we've been homeless, seperated, broke and paying for this in dimes, nickels and pennies . & some how shes managed to always keep a house, keep the house warm & food in the cabinet even if it wasn't the whopper from burger king i wanted . we're spoiled - i'm beyond spoiled . i get almost whatever i want , but i am thankful - i know how hard my family has worked to get where we are now . & even though we scrape by , we make it & thats about as much as i can ask for . so my cousin & i were talking about our futures & we want to see in our lives . i wanna go places , do something big with my life , make lots of money & pay all of my bills on time & in advance . i wanna have sliding spaceship looking doors and a jeep . but before any of this - i know where my loyalty stands . mom you've done everything for me . when you're low on money , & we're out you still ask me if i want anything to eat , you still ask me if i want this lap top or this new something even though i know you don't need to be spending anything on me , you know that some of my thoughts for the future are pretty much endless but you support whatever i want to do even though im sometimes lazy . so what im trying to say is , mama i hope this makes you smile - i hope you're happy with my life . at peace with every choice i've made & how i've grown along the way . cause i know you believe in all of my dreams and i owe it all to you mama .