determined.

so i know ive always talked about change and that change is coming andthat i will be changing in the future and i know that it never happens. i turn around just to say "something happened" and i normally put it off and talk about someone else is doing something to jepordize me from doing the things and being the person that i wanna be. but they're not, i am. no one can change the outcome that one is destined for. you can be the person you want to be. you dont need others to help you. because at the end of the day, you breathe your own air. its hard to understand when you're on the other side but this year has truly been a life changing experience for me and i need to think about the things i want to do and the places i want to go with my life because i dont know what or where i plan on going but i want to do this; i want to change. i want to be the better person the bigger person. and a nicer person. i dont want all this anger hobbering in me (is hobbering a word?) and i dont want to be like that...its just not healthy you know? but its all good im gonna be happy in the end whether anyone likes it or not. because this is what i want. i will have no fall backs. atleast ones that literally push me back in moving foward. i will have none of those. i will only move forward, never go back. i will speak my mind, but not disrespectively . i will say what i feel, but not dramatically. i will do these things as a WOMAN and not a GIRL.. EIGHTEEN is such a different spotlight. its scary ; and its weird. but its all worth it, and i thank my mom and my 3 girls that have truly helped me to be the person that i am this year and growing to unbelievable amounts. so im calling this to conclusion. god is love. love is god.