@ school...

& lets just say.
the word skipping.
has taken a toll on me again.
& i need it to stop.
but till then.

a change of lifestyle...!

ughh! okay so i've noticed that i have a chain of negative posts on here. but i always feel a need to write the bullshit. buh my life isnt just full of negative. i have a lot of positive just its a matterof the fact that i dont write that cause idk it never feels...just right. when its JUST RIGHT then omg..you'll here from me brah ! :) buh with that being said. girls are bullshit...and yes i know i have drama so do not go ahead & get ahead of yourself. & i know how stupid i sound when i talk about it but damn bring it to me LOGICALLY and then we'll get into it. but really omg...no i dont think anyone understand the stupidity behind a girls logical side of her brain. which is mostly nothing because they're stupid & don't know how to think with facts ; like what my right hand down says "girls act like they're immature they get very insecure when they're under pressure" aka drama which beyond the whole "this bitch" phase makes a whole lot of sense. take the drama that just broke out yesterday @ mah school. "i stood up for myself" no honey ; you challenged them. buh either way ; being eighteen & having LIMITED drama its a beautiful lifestyle. nooo stress except for when i see you which doesnt bother me - as much as a whole damn plate of drama due to the fact that i stay away for my best interest. see i'm growing up :) the throwback homie bubba use to always break that down to me "stop with the drama" i never did understand that - buh now i do. but to the haters ; i appreciate the hate that which you have blessed me with because like my homieeee ! MISTER PAY ; "the hatred will motivate you to change your ways" &&&&& its been the damn truth since then ! & im begining to see the reality of actually having no drama ; of not taking responsibility or caring for ignorant things that high school opens us up to. once again ; girls are stupid. especially the ones that i love too much. & im not talking about who you thinking so shuttt tthe hell uppp! buh to them silly girls. idk grow up. im still growing - im not growin. BEST BELIEVE ; BUH im more grown then you. concrete brah. will continue this topic laterrrr. i think.

i hate you.

i hate you. i almost hate all of you. but theres one thing that i cant shake about you. its that im inlove with you. that i hate you because i love you. that ur presensce has the ability to ruin me. that ur smile has the ability to kill me twice. no, three times. and that ur eyes control my mind. how the whole damn situation should be left behind. but i've become blind and i'm forced to find my way through mankind. yet it hurts to still know the softness of your skin & with the stroke of my chin the feelings you brought within is to a place i had never been. to understand sipping sin with gin expecting to win a fight thats as stupid as it be, it'll be a cold day in hell before i let a hater make a name of me, train me wanna get down and hang by a rope with me. you talk about me like you know me, think about me like you love me and hate me like you did all at the same damn time ; then how my dime turned into a crime that i never meant to commit but our smiles were a perfect fit and i admit u were my perfect chick with the sick kick, love hard like brick with a bomb smile like...tick tick. the fact that yah voice made my neck break was a dead give away that we was a mistake. that i should back off before my heart's next wake. but for gods sake...



really?

YOUS A KILLA...

this person has def. turned up the game for me. and im not talking the freaking and bitching game. im talking that hardcore future game. they've made such a difference in mah life & i got mad love for you brah. im keeping them completely anonymous because i dont want all the drama that comes when someones been acknowledged like these silly girls always like to do. buhh they've been a great help to me..like in all aspects. & its nothing but a homie so don't get cha panties caught up cha' ass. i can always count on them to pick up the phone or hit a homie up for somethin. always down when i needa' get some figured out or get shit done. they know my place they know me for me and it aint no fake shit. its the damn truth...i love you. :) buh its homie love brah.

its a new year

this has been a CRAZY experience this year. christmas & new years came & passed & now im here looking towards the future! but today was by far my biggest setback since early december. are we looking at a relapse? i suppose...but i won't fall way back - just enough to understand the fact that i am not as over it as i assume and i am not as in as my doubt tells me i am. buhh this years bought some good news & a lot of stress! buh im going to pull through it! its going to be something big this year. ive grown soo close with a homie from my middle school days that has returned to this evergreen for our senior year ! & i've def. lost touch with a lot of people. def...its a sad sad thing. buh its the TRUTH! and im so tired of not dealing with the truth head on...so might as well either let it bypass or deal with it head on. so much drama this year has turned out...and i've...omg...seen how stupid it is in high school little by little am i understanding more. i appreciate those around me that keep my grounded buh mostly i thank my clutch; tha beautiful sweetz. buhh im superr tired so just wanted to update cha' kinda...will get into detail maybe tomorrow? buh im feena' be busy sooo. git on it. no comments please. i hate having comments on my personal feelings. positive or negative. its uncomfy for me. yaaaap.