fucking up & paying your repercussions.

10 months & this is my result.
i went to panda express today & opened up my fortune cookie. it said "your road to success is only begining" so i'm begining to look at everything as a blessing. to even the things that i fuck up & in the end leave me, i look at it as something positive & yeah i cry cause no im not use to waking up & not having you there but i am going to be okay as the rest of us will. im not going to dwell & im going to pick up the pieces i shattered, gather my memories, & i won't regret it at all. because in the end, i do as i always do. i protect & promise someone. just in this case, it hurt someone. as have all my promises normally dwelled on that, whatever. i'm not saying this isnt shit. im saying its the world. spent the past 2 nights crying & today is just overwhelming. (as dramatic as i am NOT trying to sound) just things are and aren't falling into place. the old moves for the better, & some are only meant to be around for the season. & as much as i may love your presense, sometimes its not meant to stick around & im turning 18 im coming to accept that some arent' meant to be around for a lifetime & that those that i started out with...were the ending folks.

*& most likely folks getting this twisted soo...iono make of this post as you wish but this is only the begining of the better from worst & the begining of me missing what i use to have & denying & declining whats coming to me. (as i am begining to already...im sorry) but concluding this entry im close to falling asleep, ive had a good night, im "alright" & i could always use better, i've lost someone very close to me & who the hell knows who else, but right now im only focused on two.

so make of this as u wish.
if you feel you're not mentioned in this.
then iono what to tell you exactly.

so concluding this ONCE AGAIN...i do this a lot..

"in the end its going to be okay, if its not okay its not the end. just remember i love you." - aunty julaine

& God works in mysterious ways.
&& i've always had faith in "Everything will be okay."

soo if this makes no sense, than my sincere apologies.
goodnight & hold your head up high no matter what.

peace love & serenity
["i'm not bitter im mad as hell"]


forgive & forget.
it took being on the verge of possibly losing the person i hated
for so long to cancer to realize that life isn't all its cut out to
be and i must forgive, forget & move on but i will never forget
what i saw, felt, learned & how you helped me excell in being
your daughter, in being a living someone on this earth & in
being a survivor & a fighter for what i believe in & stand up for..

SUPERHUMANNN...

okay....so i ain't posted in awhile but its all good. school starts day after labor day & im far from being finished with school shopping. clothes wise that is, supplies are finished for now. so in reality, im officially caught in between, of something that is different from what i've been caught in between for the past 3 years.. so yep...talk about major thinking...its a pain in the ass but i won't lose sleep over something that's not there....

i'll write later.

boss ladies done did it again.

ooooooooookay! i apologize for the long break in posts my bad buhh august 2nd as some of you may know, boss ladies made a come back :) that was a pretty sick night. major loot spent buhh it all in all was some cool shit. :) so altogether. We went everywhere! :) Memories. & ain't nothing like going dumb at 4 in the morning with the homies! Ooo you dun' know nothing about a sky roof with me & lauren :) J on the bumper, Anthony out the window, Trittanie in the middle & Bre at the wheel! Get on that level! Good shit bro :) Get like me! Hi hater. So the picture to the left is (L-R) Me, Baby Bre, Lovely Lauren & Trittaniee. That was after the two hour get ready aha! :) Good fun && the picture to the righttt is Me & Lauren in the roof with Morgan in the back. Cause thats what we do when we go dumb in a parking lot. You don't know nothin about goin' stupid like boss ladies do boo! :) Good shit buhh that was my highlights. Boss Ladies did attend Northern Lights good shit buhh interesting ending. Buhh we got the homie afterwards & went to kick it, eat & lol went to kick it on a swing...Don't ask good stuff. I'll update this later maybe. Buhh that was us! & ill add more pictures. :) No explanation. :)